Speaking of courage

I think this must have been my favorite part of the book. Speaking of courage talks about moving forward after the war. The official aftermath. Something that not everyone handles very well

O`Brien speaks here about his fellow soldiers during the war, one who did not cope very well. The author says he managed to get back to normal after the war, it was almost weird how everything went back to normal. The main character of the chapter did not do as well, though, his name is Norman Bowker and the chapter represents his struggle to get comfortable talking about the war.

The chapter is written in a third person point of view and O`Briens opinions are not included in this chapter. He is pretty much absent from the story, but trough a steam-of-conciounes we see Norman`s problems. He feels alone and abandoned after the war. His high school girlfriend is married, and he believes his father is only interested in watching baseball.

The main character of “Speaking of courage” has no one to turn to. He does not believe people will respond the way he wants to his story about how his friend Kiowa died in “the shit field”. He believed that his father, as a WW2 veteran would question his bravery,and that his old girlfriend would be disgusted by the details. Carrying a burden is hard, but not having anyone to share it with is even harder.

Norman Bowker is circling a lake in his father’s van. Every time he finishes, he goes for another loop, while watching the people. It`s described that he feels “safe” inside the car, which might mean that this is somewhere he can think, where he doesn`t have to confront people and try to tell them his war story. While he sits there, he imagines himself telling the story to his family and friends, and he imagines himself failing to finish the story. The endless trip around the lake might represent him looking for a way to tell his family about this, or his search for an answer. He goes around and around, but never realy finds the courage to speak to anyone.

It becomes obvious that Norman never really left the war. He can`t speak about it, and he can`t think of anything else to talk about. His struggle is almost frustrating to read about.

A reason why so many soldiers committed suicide after the war might be the fault of the common population. We are to used to see heroic action in movies. People jumping away from explosions the very last second, people swimming long distances to save friends in need and help the poor. Not people dragging themselves through, literally “a shit hole” one rainy night being fired at from nowhere by the enemy. We think we can “define” courage. In the chapter “how to tell a true war story” O`Brien states that the world of the solider and the outsider/the common people is huge, and that they would not understand.

When I was 15, I had my first boxing match ever. I think it was one of the most intimidating moment of my life. I was pumped on adrenaline, my body forgot what to do, and when I was done I sat down somewhere alone and just waited for my own hands to stop shaking. The woman I had met in the ring was probably more than ten years older than me, taller, and a lot heavier. I was scared telling people about my reaction, as their response would be mixed. I was afraid other fighters would disapprove of me, call me “a damn whimp”. I was afraid my friends would get all over themselves and start comforting me when I in fact didn`t want that. I was afraid that my father might tell me I was not made for this sport, and would tell me to do something different instead.

This is nothing compared to the story, I know, but the tight gut feeling of fearing to be rejected was there. It eats you from the inside, and won`t go away until you get it of your chest and tell someone what you are holding back, it is very simple.

One of the things O`Brien might be trying to tell us is that none of us are fearless. None of us would walk away from the war not bringing something with us, whether it is a scar, a memory that won`t fade or an urge to write about all of those things. The things they had in their backpack were probably not the only things they were carrying back from the war.

-Johanne